Me? I’m attempting to go through our journey and countdown 31 things I used to have to do for Danny, that I don’t have to anymore. This exercise has already taken me down roads I haven’t traveled in my mind in quite some time. It has, and will allow me to be reminded just how far we really have come since August 16, 2005.
13. He’s Hot, He’s Cold
Danny’s brain had a bad habit-it didn’t communicate with his body.
While Danny always had sensation, his brain didn’t interpret the signals correctly.
For a time, Danny always thought he was cold.
We would dress him warmly, have the thermostat up and cover him with blankets, but he still thought he was cold.
To the touch, his body was on fire, but he was convinced that he was cold.
We also considered that maybe he’d gotten hot and cold mixed up in his mind, but he was able to clearly verbalize that he was cold and would ask for blankets.
There was concern both ways; we didn’t want him to be cold or even too warm. He’d been sick for so long, any sudden temperature changes might challenge his ailing immune system.
Plus, he was convinced he was cold, just like he was convinced he was communicating with us when he repeated the words ‘album’ and ‘vacuum.’
I wanted to comfort him, to help him, to heal him. If he needed something, I wanted to give it. However, just like I couldn’t give him food to chew, just like I couldn’t give him water to drink, I knew he didn’t need all those blankets.
Trying to tell him that he was warm, was futile. His brain had made up it’s mind; he was cold.
And, he would say that over and over and over again. It was an obsession, a focus of his mind.
In order to break his focus, we had to distract him. In order to take a blanket off so he wouldn’t sweat to death, we had to get him involved in something else.
It was a game; a really bad one. It felt like we were tricking him.
But, his mind just wasn’t working as it was created to.
I’m so thankful he doesn’t think he’s cold all the time now. We would not be sleeping in the same bed!