Me? I’m attempting to go through our journey and countdown 31 things I used to have to do for Danny, that I don’t have to anymore. This exercise has already taken me down roads I haven’t traveled in my mind in quite some time. It has, and will allow me to be reminded just how far we really have come since August 16, 2005.
Our Engagement Portrait
Today is our 11th wedding anniversary.
When the accident happened, we were just shy of our 4th.
That 4th anniversary was nothing to write home about, but apparently it is something to write here about.
Remarkably, Danny was home; in between hospital visits for pneumonia. It would have felt odd not to recognize the day in some way, yet it certainly wasn’t how we had expected.
In a perfect world, we would have been new parents and perhaps our anniversary would have been our first night out, away from the baby. I would have struggled to find something pretty to wear, that I could fit in since I was still carrying baby weight.
Wait. This was a perfect world scenario.
I would have easily fit in to that little black dress and I’d rock those four inch heels. We’d go to dinner at our favorite spot and Danny would have planned to have my present come out with our dessert-diamond stud earrings in platinum.
Oh, yeah. That is so not how it happened.
Danny was still silent. He was still not in regular sleep/wake patterns and certainly wasn’t able to eat. He didn’t buy me flowers or diamond stud earrings.
My in-laws watched Corbin for a while. I shut all the doors to his room, the living room. I wheeled his chair in front of the movie I’d found and I sat in a chair next to him. He fell asleep and I just let the tears fall while I stared at the screen.
I held his hand and I told him I loved him.
Today is not like seven years ago.
We will celebrate. We will eat things we shouldn’t. We will toast our 11 years and hope for many more. We may watch a movie, but more than likely the football game. We will snuggle with each other and with Corbin.
We will remember the day we were married, when our journey began. And, we will trust the Lord to go among us.