I contemplated observing Lent this year. Like somehow if I checked that box, God might heal Danny.

Please tell me I’m not the only one who tries to do the right things in order to get what I want from God, like he’s a vending machine.

Lord, I’ll deposit regular church attendance, Bible reading, tithing, observation of Lent and a good attempt of Jesus-imitating living with a touch of vulnerability and take 1H for one healing for my husband.

I know it’s just wishful thinking and God doesn’t work that way, but maybe the rare vision that flashes in my mind is our future? And, just maybe if I check all the right boxes and do all the right things, life on the parallel will make it’s way back onto the straight path. Maybe.

Or, maybe I’m looking in all the wrong places, at all the wrong things and totally missing the right, the right now.

By missing the right now, I’m missing the picture of grace that stretched out on the Cross; the very thing that Lent leads to. The Cross.

Changing our mindset and our thinking takes a lot of practice and repetition. Prompted by my counselor, instead of giving up caffeine and alcohol for Lent, I’m adding in daily accounts of joy.

Day 1:

Danny walked 2,541 steps today. The most ever.

Day 4:

Corbin wanted his father to watch his baseball practice, so we gambled on the gravel and won.

 

Day 8:

And, this one too.

Day 10:

My father flew in from Arizona to fix my car. It was so nice to do life with him for just over a week!

Day 15:

Though my father bore the labor to fix my car, the cost of parts became heavier. But God moved and we received an unexpected letter, an unexpected gift in the memory of a father I’ve never seen. A father’s memory, sent to my father’s hands and provided by our heavenly Father.

Day 18:

Corbin is a baseball rookie and it’s obvious. Coupled during a time of low self esteem, I asked the Lord to give him an opportunity to wow, a moment to feel proud of. On this day, my rookie son got the winning hit, to drive home the winning run and received the first game ball of the season.

 

Lately, I’ve been spinning in circles. Not really going anywhere or feeling anything. Numb. Each day, each week, my routine is about the same and I just needed something to break me out of the vicious cycle of numbness.

#40daysofjoy

Insert joy. Find it. Seek it.

I asked Danny what he wanted to share with you all today; what he wanted everyone to pray for.

I’m just grateful that things are going so well with [caregiver]. I just want that to grow and continue to get better. And, I feel strong. My walking feels good.

Perhaps joy is catching.

Are you In On 10 today? Did you pray? Did you give?

Maybe this is the time. Maybe, just maybe, 2015 is when button 1H isn’t Out of Order. Maybe God says yes.