Five Minute Friday – Remember

Lisa-Jo Baker has a blog that I love to read. She has this thing on Fridays – Five Minute Friday. You guessed it; write for five minutes straight. No editing. No re-do.

Today’s Topic: REMEMBER

GO

To remember is to welcome in pain, to let it wash over me like a morning’s shower.

To remember means that I bring the grief, the comparison, the memories. I bring the laughter, the tears, and the love.

Oh, the love.

He made me melt, made my knees weak and my heart flutter. He didn’t even have to work at it. He was exactly what I wanted and everything I didn’t know I needed. In and of himself, he was created “the One.”

With a phone call, he died and the life we had along with him.

But yet, he lives! He lives in a shell of the body he had before. A body the world defines as disabled. A mind the doctor’s define as injured.

And, while our new life, the man he is now, is often also defined by disabled and brain injured, I pray the loudest song played is love.

Oh, the love.

He is strong, yet broken. He is determined, yet discouraged. He is thankful, but grieving.

But, oh the love.

The love that each day realizes he can’t “do” for his family, but tries anyway. The love that humbles itself to set aside his pride and ask for help. The love that each day makes a choice to try and walk though difficult and frustrating.

Oh, the love.

The love that he has for me now. It is not merely a heart flutter, but a heart flooded. We are not simply married, but we are united.

United in flesh. United in heart. United in celebration and united in suffering.

I miss him. I let the memories roll around my mind, but don’t reach out to catch them. I let them fall like marbles to the ground, bouncing loudly, rolling around the floors of my heart, eventually to still, to be silent until they are uncovered again. Until I am strong enough to look in the hidden places to pull them out and boldly remember.

Beauty from ashes.

Life from darkness.

Triumph from tragedy.

Oh, the love.

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This song came on the radio when Danny was barely speaking, let alone singing. I got down on my knees beside his wheelchair, looking right into his eyes, searching for him; he who left me weak in the knees. As I sang it, he sang along with me. It wasn’t just a song, it was my prayer to him.

“And age to age
And heart to heart,
Bound by grace and peace.
Child of wonder,
Child of God,
I’ve remembered you,
Remember Me.”

Remember me. Remember me. Remember me.

And, as I sang, I not only asked my new, disabled, brain injured husband to remember me, but I also cried out to the God of the Universe to remember.

Remember me. Remember me. Remember me.

STOP

*I totally didn’t stay in the lines on this post. It took me longer than five minutes.*