I’ve reached a point where I’ve hit a wall, I feel. This has been going on for too long and I’m just sick and tired of it. But, if I give up now, I lose and I was and still am not one to give in or give up. So where do I go from here?
I only have one option; put my head down and push through it. It’s the only thing I know to do. Because, if not, all the work I have done for the past 4 1/2 years is for nothing. It doesn’t make it any easier that I think I’m on the verge of yet another break-through. I feel I’m almost to the point of starting to use the walker at home, not just at therapy.
While I’m sitting here writing this, my son, Corbin is sitting next to me eating breakfast. What 4 year old boy do you know that asks to listen to Gypsy Kings? For all of you saying “WHO IS THAT?” that is the concert I took Allison to when we were “just friends.” The crazy thing is that not only does Corbin know the group, but he also knows the words to most of their songs in Spanish. When I see him singing and dancing to their music, it just makes me happier than I know what to do or how to explain it. He is one of the reasons I keep going down this road; the other is my gift of a wife. Like I’m sure Allison has said before, I just don’t know why she stayed, but now I see and I think I finally grasp, if not just a little understanding why.
Shifting gears back to my recovery, you all know that super therapist named Candy? Well, on Friday, I didn’t have her on my schedule, but I’ve started working this hallway/tunnel that goes from Shepherd under Peachtree St. to other side. Although Candy isn’t usually there on Fridays, she was there this past one. She jumped in on my session to the “blue carpet hallway;” a change in plans. Did I mention that the tunnel is downhill to start then flattens out halfway through only to start climbing to get to other side? Needless to say, it’s not an easy way to cross Peachtree St. even if you are an able bodied person. It’s quite the full body workout and I say full body for me since I depend on my arms a lot still to support my upper body. But, every time I do it, it seems to be getting a little easier.
I know this post is quite scattered like my thoughts, so that is all folks. Do me a favor though? If you read this, even if you don’t want to make a comment, will you at least sign your name so I know people are actually reading this? If no one reads it, than I feel it’s a waste of time. Allison assures me that people do read it, but I’m not convinced.