I Got a Letter

I was hesitant to share this story. There are some things that seem so personal that you should keep them close, ponder them like Mary, the mother of Jesus. I know that must sound funny coming from me; one who writes openly personal things for the entire world to read. However, I felt today was the time, although I have no idea why. I think that maybe, just maybe, I merely needed to remind myself of God’s promise. Maybe, I needed to hear it again, experience it again, so that I can pull myself up from my figurative boot straps and put one foot in front of the other.

Regarding the promise God made to Abraham and Sarah, Paul writes in Romans 4:20,21 – “yet, with respect to the promise of God, he did not waver in unbelief but grew strong in faith, giving glory to God, and being fully assured that what God had promised, He was able also to perform.”

Dear God, May I (we) not waver, but be strong, be faithful, be glorifying to you, and be assured.
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Perhaps it was because I was so sick that I allowed myself to dream the impossible dream.

We were all supposed to go to the Christmas concert, but there was no way I could go. I could barely manage to get everyone up and fed that day, much less do what is necessary to take my family out in public.

Danny was really looking forward to the concert-Jason Crabb was singing. For some reason, when Danny hears Jason sing, he is moved to tears. And, although I had to practically push Corbin out the door, Loida took the boys to the concert at church and I had-alone, get better, watch the end of the SEC game, paint ornaments- time at home.

It’s not often I’m alone.

I took a long, hot shower, put some clean pajamas on and crawled into bed. Audrey jumped up and curled up on Danny’s side of the bed, instinctively knowing that Mama wasn’t feeling well.

I turned on the TV, scrolling through the channels, settling on “How to Train Your Dragon”- I love that movie and always suggest it when Corbin’s in the mood for movie night; that and “The Avengers.”

Anyway, I was tired, feeling lousy, clean and let my eyes close being careful not to fall asleep. There was still work to be done once everyone got home.

It was getting late.

Perhaps it was because I was so sick that I allowed myself to dream the impossible dream.

I was in bed, resting and waiting for the boys to get home, but instead of Danny rolling into our bedroom, he walked in-the light of the Christmas tree behind him, emphasizing his strong and steady stature. Corbin close at his heels, crying out “Mama, Dada is walking!”

A miracle had happened while they were at church. After the concert, Danny got to meet Jason Crabb and he began praying for Danny and then others joined in and in response, the Holy Spirit brought the natural and the spiritual together.

Danny stood up, left his wheelchair in the sanctuary and couldn’t wait to get home to show me what God had done.

Perhaps it was because I was so sick that I allowed myself to dream the impossible dream.

It wasn’t that I didn’t have faith that it could happen, that God could move like that, but if I’m honest with myself, I know that is not how God is writing this story.

But, I started praying for Danny anyway.

The Lord saw my heart and he saw my dreams, so I told him that it was okay if it didn’t happen like that. It’d be awesome, but okay too if that wasn’t the way. I asked strength for us, for Danny to be ministered to, that God would do a complete work for His glory, not ours. And, for whatever that looks like, that we would be at peace with it.

The front door banged open and my prayer came to a close quickly-duty was calling. Danny was calling for Corbin to come back, Corbin was calling for me and running into our room, Danny came to get him out and with the chaos and a deep breath, the light of hope grew dim and I crawled out of bed to meet the crazy.

I’m sick. I’m tired. I’m weary. And yet so much work still lay before me. No matter how I felt, I still had to get my boys into bed.

I got Corbin in the shower and then went to the kitchen for his medicine.

Danny reaches in his jacket pocket and pulls out an envelope.

The envelope once held our concert tickets, but written on the other side was a woman’s name, her telephone numbers and this note:

God says “Total Restoration.”

I burst into sick, tired, weary tears and so did Danny in his confusion on why that note would move me so.

In between my sniffling, blubbering cries, I told Danny what he didn’t know-that I had allowed myself to imagine the idea that his healing process could become a miracle, that I allowed myself to envision the impossible and that I laid in that bed and prayed-all unbeknownst to Danny and to the woman who wrote down God’s message.

I’m not sure I have adequate words to describe the feeling of knowing, and being humbled to tears, that God had just sent me a note. It was as if He had handed it to me personally. I was reminded of His great love for me, through one seemingly small gesture from a woman seated in the fourth pew.

Don’t ever underestimate the power of your words, your emails, your cards, your Facebook messages, your passed forward Scripture references or your nudging from the Lord written down on a envelope. Don’t ever think that God can’t use you to minister to someone else; after all, he did speak through a donkey. Surely, He can speak through you.

Maybe this is too spiritual for you or maybe it’s just want you needed to hear. No matter. When you’ve been taken to the depths of darkness through tragedy and the only light is the one that shines within your heart, you cling to that Light-for strength, for safety, for knowing, for hope, for your family, for your life-you keep your eyes fixed on the Light.

Perhaps it was because I was so sick that I allowed myself to dream the impossible dream.

And, God said “Total Restoration.”

Believing 2013 is the year of Total Restoration. Will you believe with me?