Happy New Year!  Is it too late in January to say that?

I know.  It’s been a while.

Hi.  My name is Allison.

I have something to say.  You may or may not be interested so feel free to move on at any time.

Christmas was awesome.

Did you see the video?  It’s on FaceBook.

I got a great Christmas gift and thankfully, it’s the gift that’s kept on giving.

My husband has been walking around our house with his walker…some.

Yep.  Remember that goal he had?

Wait.  Did I write about that here? Total evidence that I REALLY haven’t been here in too long.

Anyway, his goal was to be walking with the walker around the house by the end of the year.

He did it!

It’s been amazing to see his confidence grow as he does it more often.

It’s been amazing to see Corbin watching his dad overcome difficulty.  What a learning experience for him…for all of us really.

Sometimes, I forget how far we’ve come.  I mean, let’s be honest.  Who wants to remember feeding tubes, tracheotomies, casts, catheters and thrush?

NOT me!  I’ll remember it and acknowledge it enough to give glory to God that He brought us through it, but otherwise, it’s a really dark place to go to, even in my memories.

Last week, I was invited to offer some peer support to a young woman whose husband suffered a traumatic brain injury from a motorcycle accident.

I had to go back there; physically, mentally and a bit emotionally.  In the dark parts of my mind, I don’t want to do that.  I don’t want to have to be living in this journey.  I want to be in the journey of our dreams that we had; the parallel life.

But the reality is, I’ve never been to that parallel.  It’s a place I can only think about.  I’ve never smelled it, seen it or heard it.  I’ve never felt it, lived it or absorbed its delight or difficulty.

But, I’ve been where this couple is now.  I’ve smelled the hospital.  I’ve sat in the cold, lonely room though I wasn’t alone.  I’ve listened to silence, to nurse’s shoes squeak on the floor, to fluid gurgling inside Danny’s throat.  I’ve heard cursing and I’ve listened to sobs.  I have seen eyes that have no soul, bodies contorted and people restrained.  Heck, I’ve had to restrain my own husband.

It’s not a world you want to find yourself.

However, if you find yourself there, it’s nice to know it’ll get better.

So, I went to the ABI Unit.  Thankfully, they’ve renovated it so it is only the shell of what I remember.

If I closed my eyes though, it was like the room was rushing at me, taking me back in time.

I resisted.

I wasn’t there for me.  I was there for someone else.

I couldn’t lose it right there.  I couldn’t make it about me and my experience.

This is their journey.  And, I tried to encourage but not sugar coat it.  Yet, in the early stages, perhaps it was too soon to hear what might lie ahead.

Nonetheless, the whole experience washed over me and took me back there.  It made me look at what Danny was and what he is now.  I realized that perhaps, the hardest parts are behind us, perhaps this is the year.

Each New Year, I write about what I hope it holds for us.

For the first time, I think I know and I’m crazy for it to get here.

My husband may very well walk unassisted by year end.

Below are his recent evaluation results:

Maybe we’ll take this journey and we’ll meet somewhere up ahead in that other parallel life.  Maybe we’ll get to see it, feel it, smell it and hear it.

To actually experience our dreams or to even believe it may be possible?

I’m overwhelmed with hope just bubbling beneath the surface.

Here’s to 2012 and the living in the parallel!