Happy New Year!  Is it
too late in January to say that?

I know.  It’s been a
while.

Hi.  My name is
Allison.

I have something to say. 
You may or may not be interested so feel free to move on at any time.

Christmas was awesome.

Did you see the video? 
It’s on FaceBook.

I got a great Christmas gift and thankfully, it’s the gift
that’s kept on giving.

My husband has been walking around our house with his
walker…some.

Yep.  Remember that
goal he had?

Wait.  Did I write
about that here? Total evidence that I REALLY haven’t been here in too long.

Anyway, his goal was to be walking with the walker around
the house by the end of the year.

He did it!

It’s been amazing to see his confidence grow as he does it
more often.

It’s been amazing to see Corbin watching his dad overcome
difficulty.  What a learning experience
for him…for all of us really.

Sometimes, I forget how far we’ve come.  I mean, let’s be honest.  Who wants to remember feeding tubes,
tracheotomies, casts, catheters and thrush?

NOT me!  I’ll remember
it and acknowledge it enough to give glory to God that He brought us through
it, but otherwise, it’s a really dark place to go to, even in my memories.

Last week, I was invited to offer some peer support to a
young woman whose husband suffered a traumatic brain injury from a motorcycle
accident.

I had to go back there; physically, mentally and a bit
emotionally.  In the dark parts of my
mind, I don’t want to do that.  I don’t
want to have to be living in this journey. 
I want to be in the journey of our dreams that we had; the parallel life.

But the reality is, I’ve never been to that parallel.  It’s a place I can only think about.  I’ve never smelled it, seen it or heard
it.  I’ve never felt it, lived it or
absorbed its delight or difficulty.

But, I’ve been where this couple is now.  I’ve smelled the hospital.  I’ve sat in the cold, lonely room though I
wasn’t alone.  I’ve listened to silence,
to nurse’s shoes squeak on the floor, to fluid gurgling inside Danny’s throat.  I’ve heard cursing and I’ve listened to sobs.  I have seen eyes that have no soul, bodies
contorted and people restrained.  Heck,
I’ve had to restrain my own husband.

It’s not a world you want to find yourself.

However, if you find yourself there, it’s nice to know it’ll
get better.

So, I went to the ABI Unit. 
Thankfully, they’ve renovated it so it is only the shell of what I
remember.

If I closed my eyes though, it was like the room was rushing
at me, taking me back in time.

I resisted.

I wasn’t there for me. 
I was there for someone else.

I couldn’t lose it right there.  I couldn’t make it about me and my
experience.

This is their journey. 
And, I tried to encourage but not sugar coat it.  Yet, in the early stages, perhaps it was too
soon to hear what might lie ahead.

Nonetheless, the whole experience washed over me and took me
back there.  It made me look at what
Danny was and what he is now.  I realized
that perhaps, the hardest parts are behind us, perhaps this is the year.

Each New Year, I write about what I hope it holds for us.

For the first time, I think I know and I’m crazy for it to
get here.

My husband may very well walk unassisted by year end.

Below are his recent evaluation results:

TEST

October 11, 2011

January 11, 2012

Timed Up ‘n Go

79 seconds

56 seconds

10 Meter

53 seconds

33 seconds

6 Minute Distance

226 ft.

260 ft.

Stand & Pivot Transfer

36 seconds

17 seconds

Sit to Stand

4 seconds

2 seconds

 

Maybe we’ll take this journey and we’ll meet somewhere up
ahead in that other parallel life.  Maybe
we’ll get to see it, feel it, smell it and hear it.

To actually experience our dreams or to even believe it may
be possible?

I’m overwhelmed with hope just bubbling beneath the surface.

Here’s to 2012 and the living in the parallel!

One thought on “Life in the Parallel

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