Not Alone

Better late than never….an anniversary post.

I sit alone in this booth with anticipation of his arrival.  We’ve been here before, countless times.  It’s a favorite spot.  But, it’s never happened like this before.

Seven years ago, I was filled with anticipation of seeing him too.  Oh, the contrast of these two August 16ths!

Today, I anxiously wait for him to do something he hasn’t done in seven years.I fidget in my seat, drink a glass of wine and peruse a menu I could recite from memory. I keep raising up to peek out through the blinds, watching for our car; our car, without a wheelchair on the lift.

Seven years ago, I fidgeted in a seat; an airplane seat. I was alone there too. The whole row was empty, save this seven month pregnant lady going home to see what was left of her husband. I kept looking out the window, watching for the ground to become closer and found the moon’s light guiding me home.

He’s (They’re) late; caught in traffic. A fatality accident has gridlocked the top end. The irony does not miss me.

I’m alone in a booth, waiting for my should have been dead husband to walk into one of our favorite restaurants for the first time since our August 16th, seven years ago.

This accident, seven years later, that has me fidgeting in my seat because I’m having to wait for this awesome thing to happen, well, this day will never be a celebration for two families. Their loved ones died in that accident that has my Survivor of a husband late.

It still doesn’t make today easy. It still hurts my heart. I still struggle with the last seven years.

But I still have him.

And, this guy, who should have died, didn’t. And, this guy climbed out of our car with his walker and he shook off help from his brother and from his mother and walked alone up the sidewalk, through the door and to our booth.

And, I wasn’t alone any more.

And, it took everything in me not to start clapping and cheering like a crazy woman in our special restaurant.

He did it. He and Danny. God, Danny and I and our families and our Village. We made a moment happen.

We celebrated our August 16th as the day death was defeated for our Danny; the day God said “not yet.”

And, we prayed for those families that lost those they loved this day seven years later.