You remember when I said that we were sick?  Well, much has happened along that journey too.

In mid-April, Corbin had tubes put in his ears.  Although he is four and a half years old, his recurring ear infections were getting the best of us.  He’d had four that I knew of since the end of January and after three rounds of antibiotics, shots and many minutes of urging him to take his foul bubblegum flavored medicines, we’d had enough.  It was a battle; all of it.  Corbin was traumatized each time we went to the doctor.  He would fight just to have his ears checked and holding a strong willed, four year old was hard on me too.  I couldn’t put him through that any more, so we went ahead with the tubes.

The day of the surgery was just like every other time we’d gone to the doctor.  He screamed, holding his hands over his ears and that was just when someone would open the door.  You should have seen us trying to get his blood pressure.  Anyway, it was another battle to get him to swallow the “happy juice” to help him be less anxious.  It was only after the nurse left the room to get a shot of the juice and me pleading with him to drink it, that he finally took it with big, ole crocodile tears on his face.  Once they came to get him, I was allowed to walk next to the gurney and since the happy juice had taken effect, he was having fun riding on the bed; until I couldn’t go any further.  And, as he rolled through the proverbial double swinging doors, he turned on his hands and knees and cried “Mama!” as he reached his hands out towards me.  But, that nurse just kept going and I tried to keep my happy face on until the doors closed and I couldn’t see him any longer.

Mama needed a cup of coffee so I headed down to the cafe in the lobby.  When I got back to the room, the surgeon was already there and the surgery was already over.  The surgeon said Corbin had a ton of fluid behind his ears, especially the right ear, which just solidified for me that we had made the right choice.  They brought Corbin in a few minutes later and he was curled up in the fetal position asleep.

 It wasn’t long though before he woke up and started with his comedy routine.  He was a four year old happy drunk with anesthesia.  The first thing he said with happy, slurred speech was, “Mama, you were right.  I didn’t feel a thing.”  He went on to make us laugh for the next couple hours at the funny things he’d say or sing, or how he was stumbling around a bit.  I’m so glad he woke up that way instead of crying or mad. Whew!

Since then, he seems to hear a little better, he is eating like a growing boy and yet, there is still this lingering cough and runny nose which leads me to my next point.

I had surgery too.  I wish mine had been as simple as tubes in my ears, but that just wasn’t to be.  After months of a sinus infection, many medications, a new ENT and a CT scan, things were not pretty.  All my sinuses were inflamed, had infection and thus, my lungs were reacting as well.  I’ve never had asthma, but I was suddenly on an inhaler and a steroid as well.  Nothing seemed to improve and my ENT recommended we move ahead with the surgery.  I think at that point, I’d have done anything to feel better.

Although there are/were many hard parts about the whole experience, one of the hardest was that I was not going to be able to do anything that required exertion for at least two weeks.  Well, my whole life is one big exertion; picking up Corbin and carrying him, transferring Danny, turning Danny, walking with Danny, bringing in the groceries and things from Costco, doing the laundry, etc.  I couldn’t lean over, pick anything up or blow my nose.  How in the world was this going to work?  Enter the village…

It takes a village to facilitate our lives and this was no different; we just needed some extra hands and those came in the form of my mom.  Mom was here in March to visit and although I knew it would help for her to come back, I knew the ticket would be pricey because the trip would be less than two weeks out for her.  Well, although I am almost 33 years old, my mom and dad put their feet down and said that she was coming, no questions asked.  I am so glad she did.

I’d never been under anethesia and was curious as to how it would affect me.  My surgery was scheduled for 1:30pm which is fabulous when you can’t eat or drink anything.  I think my mind was too occupied with everything else to really think about food though.  I took Corbin to school and assured him that I’d be fine.  He was worried about me and told me he’d protect me so the doctor wouldn’t hurt me.  So precious!  Danny went to therapy and then came over to the hospital.  I think he was worried too.  Mama’s never been down and out before; my boys were thrown for a bit of a loop.

I remember going into the OR and moving off the gurney and onto the operating table.  Past that, it’s all dark until this loud, piercing voice came through the fog for me to take a deep breath.  I was in recovery and was immediately slammed with the feeling like I was going to vomit.  I wasn’t in pain, but that feeling of coming out of anesthesia was horrible.  I never want to go through that again.  Danny came back to see me and kept telling me to open my eyes and I just couldn’t do it.  It was so frustrating.  It seems that I was in recovery for almost two hours.  I think a little anesthesia goes a long way with me.

Since then, things have been out of order.  Since I can’t/couldn’t transfer Danny or turn him, he’s been staying with his parents next door.  His mom and JC have been covering my usual duties and times.  My mom slept in our bed with me to keep a mother’s ear out for me.  Mom cooked, cleaned, did laundry, planted flowers and anything else she could do to fill my shoes.  Corbin was out of sorts too, probably responding to all the changes.  It’s been tough emotionally for me as well.

My “job” is hard.  It’s difficult to ask/have someone else do that job when I know how hard it is.  It’s frustrating not to be able to do things I think I should be able to do.  The problem is that when you have sinus surgery and they suction out your face, it leaves raw tissue there.  It’s not like you bandage it up and it heals.  The only thing that heals that tissue is time and a little help from the ENT, which is called debriding and is NOT fun.  I won’t even describe that one.

No matter, it’s been sucky and it continues.  I’ve had to go back to the ENT weekly since the surgery and last week, I didn’t get the best report.  I still have infection.  It’s no wonder that I swept my floor and was exhausted.  I started crying.  I feel like this whole thing is stupid.  I look fine on the outside and have no idea what is really going on on the inside.  However, I know I’m not supposed to have infection still after the surgery.  So, I had to take myself to the happy compounding pharmacy to get specially made nasal sprays; two of them that I have to do four times a day.  Oh, and when they run down the back of my throat, they taste so foul that they make me sick to my stomach.

My mom has gone back to Arizona, but is making threats to return depending on what the ENT says this week.  I can tell you though, that I still feel sick.  I still feel like I have the infection.  The thick mucus hanging in the back of my throat gives it away.

So, Danny is still staying at this parents and I’m once again, sleeping in our bed without him.  I’m worried because Danny and I are supposed to go out of town this weekend and all the transfers, daily living stuff and walking will be left to me.  It’s exciting though because we’re going to camp.

It’s called Adventure Skills Workshop (ASW) through Shepherd.  I was shocked when Danny brought home the brochure and said he wanted to go.  Some of Danny’s therapists are going and it should be very fun for him; water skiing, tubing, jet skiing, shooting range, archery, ATV rides, ropes course and it’s all adapted!  I can’t wait to see him have fun despite his disability.  It will be rather refreshing.

Anyway, as you can see, life has been busy, up-side-down and more crazy than ever.  I’m hoping that I get a good report this week and get the green light to get back to my normal and be well.  I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired.  Please pray!

I’m going to add some pictures to the gallery, so take a look to see what’s been going on with us.  Love to all!