It was a Monday morning; not different from any other morning when I’d just rather roll over and dig deeper into the comfort of our bed, but this was an unexpectedly beautiful Monday.
Grabbing my phone to turn off the alarm clock, I was immediately drawn to the texts that I’d slept through during the night. Pouring through the lines, I knew the day was offering me a challenge. As I lay there with my mind racing, I attempted to iron out a new plan of action, a plan of doing and getting those to-dos masterfully checked off the list.
It was a Monday of hats; all of them at one time. Wife, Caregiver, Mom, and Employee.
Juggling the sudden time constraint of my morning, I showered and then got Danny out of bed. Leaving him to his mostly independent routine, I crept into Corbin’s room and kissed his face awake and turned on all his lights. He dug deeper into his bed, just like his mom, wishing away the Monday morning.
I talked to Corbin while I put on my make-up in his bathroom, willing him awake with my chatter. Once my face was on, I took Danny his medications and attempted to hurry him along even though he has only one speed.
I grabbed a cup of coffee as I rushed back to Corbin’s bathroom to dry my hair, all while reaching into his closet, pulling his uniform shirt and pants from their hangers and throwing them on his bed.
Corbin, get up buddy. What do you want for your snack today? Please, buddy. Open those eyes and get up. Mommy needs your help this morning.
As my boys continued through their own routines, I threw on lounge pants and a new t-shirt just purchased at Allume over the weekend from The Sparrow Project in support of Project 143.
Ironically, and poignantly, it states,
It’s the unexpected that makes life beautiful.
Standing in the closet, with my elevated heart rate, I realized I had a choice to make in that hurried moment.
I could bark orders to my family. I could get hurried and anxious. I could set a rushed tone to the day, keep all my hats on and try to be everything to everyone.
Or, I could embrace the unexpected ordinary beauty the day was offering me.
It goes against my nature to roll with the punches. After years of doing all, being all and trying to stay on top of it all, I don’t know how to just be present in the moment without thinking about the next move I need to make.
When I exhaled the choice to see the beauty in the unexpected of this Monday, the peace that comes only from Him slowed my rapid heart rate and He whispered,
Happy Anniversary.
It was, after all, our 13th wedding anniversary. Due to circumstances completely beyond our control, we were suddenly able to spend the day together; the unexpected beauty of ordinary.
It wasn’t jetting off to some adventure or dining in a five star restaurant. It wasn’t candlelight and romance. It was ordinary us.
We took Corbin to school and then went to Shepherd Center for Danny’s physical therapy. I worked while he worked out and then we enjoyed lunch together, grabbed some medical equipment he needed and picked up our son from school. Together.
I worked and Corbin did homework. Danny showered and got himself dressed, save the right shoe. I cooked dinner and we watched The Voice. Together.
As I would start to get overwhelmed, I would remind myself that none of the pressure I was putting on myself was a life or death situation. Nothing bad was going to happen if I didn’t get all my work done; more would be waiting for me tomorrow. Corbin was safe at school and a mere phone call would have been fine if we were running late. If Danny didn’t make it to therapy that day, it wouldn’t be the end of his recovery.
The reality is that I’m not really in control anyway. Uncontrollable circumstances can give way to panic and doubt unless you choose to rest in the knowing that He has you in the palm of His hand.
In thirteen challenging years of marriage, choosing to embrace the unexpected beauty is an exercise in faith; even the beauty that breathes through brokenness. But, on that unexpected beauty of an anniversary Monday, I was brought back to the understanding that when we dance through the unexpected, we always dance better together.
