Itís a word that means something different to everyone.
The phrase Corbin used to describe Danny.
Itís happened. He knows. He recognizes.
Iíd hoped we would never have to deal with this, but itís here.
Itís happening. And, we have no idea what itís doing to him.
The thing is, what made Danny different in Corbinís eyes was that ďall he does is work on the computer and take the dog out.Ē
It had nothing to do with walking.
I tried hard to make it silly.
I told Corbin that I work on a computer and take the dog out.
I told him that he plays games on the computer and takes the dog out.
ďI guess none of us are normal,Ē I said while crossing my eyes and making a funny face.
Iím not sure he bought it.
But, after a good Corbin sandwich hug and tickle attack, we were all laughing.
However, I couldnít help but notice how it hurt Dannyís feelings to hear his son say heís not normal.
I really think though, that Corbin meant that Danny doesnít pay attention to himÖ.all he does is sit on the computer and take the dog out.
Danny and I talked about it later and he could see the same thing. Danny needs to take more initiative in activities he can do with Corbin.
But, it still hurts. I wish I could rewind the words, but I canít.
ďNot normal,Ē is all Dannyís been telling himself all these last six years. It just solidified how Danny feels about himself, but to hear it from your six year old; itís crushing.
Danny never wanted to be bound to that wheelchair. His dreams of fatherhood looked very different from the reality weíre in now.
And, it seems that Corbin now recognizes the difference between his dad and his friendís dads.
Weíve had two phone calls from the school about behavior situations.
Is this indicative with what Corbin experiences at home? Is he feeling frustrated or confused and doesnít know what to do with those feelings?
Or, is this a typical six year old boy pushing boundaries? Learning whatís right and whatís wrong?
We donítí know.
How do we know?
God give us wisdom.
On Sunday, I got to have a date with Corbin. We did whatever he wanted; saw a matinee, walked through Toys R Us and had some frozen yogurt at Pinkberry.
As we sat there eating our yogurt, I asked Corbin how he felt about Daddy not being able to walk.
He said it made him sad.
I told him it makes me sad too.
Iím hoping Corbin wonít close off and heíll learn that we can talk about anything; that heíll realize that no one is anyone elseís definition of normal.