Surprise! I know, I know. It’s been way too long since I’ve posted an update, yet you’re not mad at me. You understand, right? Personally, I just haven’t felt like writing much and considering there have been no major changes like we all hope for, updating the site without big news felt kind of disappointing. I do, however, have new news and great news of God’s continued blessings in our lives.
First and foremost, I’d like to share that the golf tournament was a huge success. I believe there were 90 players and we had top notch giveaways so everyone went away with something. There were many people that we knew, but even some faces that were not familiar. I appreciate everyone’s thoughtfulness and willingness to give of their finances and their time. I haven’t heard the final total for the amount of money that was raised, but I know that whatever it is, it will be a huge blessing for our family. Thank you to Jason Warrington and John Kown for their efforts in planning the tournament and to those of you who worked behind the scenes to make it such a fun and successful event. Thank you to you all who participated in the tournament and those that contributed.
On the subject of blessings and community support, I have some thoughts that have been rattling around in my head. It impresses me that people have taken our cause to heart and have searched the Lord with how they can contribute and help. I have been overwhelmed with the amount of money and prayers that come our way almost to a point of guilt. Is that weird? I mean, what makes us so special as to warrant such an outpouring? I don’t feel significant or admirable, yet so many people compliment me on my strength, my writing and my love and loyalty to Danny. Why? Am I not just merely doing what God has called me as his wife, as a Believer? We’ve received so many blessings and so much support, that I think about those who do not have the community encouragement. What do they do to make it through something like this? My heart goes out to others and I hope to do something great to bless them as you have us. Thank you.
More deep thoughts…..
A skid mark measuring fifty feet was the lasting evidence of Danny’s attempt to lessen the blows of his accident. Fifty feet. Fifty feet go by quickly when you’re traveling at 45 mph. Fifty feet is long enough for a single thought to pass through your mind. I often wonder what went through Danny’s mind before he hit the van. Did he think about me? About Corbin? Did he pray or call out to God? Did Danny prepare himself for the impact? Did he realize that he wasn’t going to be able to stop? Was he scared? Fifty feet. Fifty feet just wasn’t enough. If he had another fifty, would he have avoided the accident? Of course, all these questions can not be answered. They just hang out there in my mind.
Heavy subjects, I know. It’s been awhile since I wrote it all out and now it just comes pouring like the spring rain; you know the rain, the kind with the really big drops.
Danny is not happy these days as he seems to have come to the realization of his limitations. The feelings he expresses are exactly what I know the pre-accident Danny would have felt, which in a weird way is great. However, it is extremely difficult to know that he’d rather be dead than be handicapped. I knew to expect it though because Danny had always told me that he’d rather die than be stuck in a wheelchair, but it’s still hard to deal with. We try to encourage him and I can only hope that this is only a phase in his recovery. He doesn’t want Corbin to have a “retarded” father and he feels I’d be happier with someone else. Again, ouch, punch you in the gut kind of comments. Please pray for Danny’s spirit.
In church on Sunday, Pastor Cooper spoke about “The Battle Above Us” and spiritual warfare. I truly believe that that is what we are in the midst of right now. I remember that shortly after Danny’s accident, I felt a verse impressed upon me.
“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” Ephesians 6:12
Pastor Cooper noted that there are six ways that demon spirits wage war on us: distract, deceive, divide, discourage, depress and denigrate. It’s true. I sat there and felt all those things have been thrown at us like the flaming arrows spoken about in verse 16. How do you fight a spiritual war? With discernment through prayer, defending like Nehemiah and attacking like David, and dedication to your faith. There is a spiritual battle being fought for Danny and me too perhaps. I stand on God’s promise that the battle has already been won. Will you?
Some of you may think that I’m exposing private things. Well, I have to tell you that it isn’t pretty living life after such a tragic accident. There are some days when I can smile and make it through the day and then there are others when I’m on the brink of tears all day long. My hope is that someone reading this takes a step back and looks at their own life and thinks that they should spend more time with their family or take the proper safety precautions when riding or keep their cool in traffic. Life can change in fifty feet. Are you prepared? Did you kiss your kids before you left for work this morning or tell your wife that you love her? I’m not here to write a Hallmark card image of life. I write the truth, my truth, my story, my point of view. Believe it or not, I don’t tell everything. There are some things that are better kept private; moments and conversations with Danny that are mine that I don’t want to share with the world. Those things and others I will keep hidden in my heart.
Okay, you’ve had two pages of me and my philosophies, so I’ll finally give you what you really came here to learn.
Last week was Danny’s final sessions at Shepherd Pathways. It was also the week that we all got the flu. I think there have ended up being about 12 people that were hit with it, Danny and Corbin included. Luckily, we’re all doing much better this week and getting back into a normal routine. So, Danny has wrapped up his out patient therapy sessions and is now having therapy at home with his new therapists, his family. Yes, we’ve all gotten pushed headfirst into the therapy water so to speak. You should see my hat collection; wife, mother, nurse, therapist, pharmacist, psychologist, disc jockey, etc. We’re really excited because we’ve gotten a pool lift so we can do some aquatic therapy. I’m interested to see how Danny responds to being in the water. It’ll be great weight bearing exercise and also give him support to establish some trunk balance. His physical therapist has instructed us that the next big thing for Danny to accomplish is the balance of his torso, to be able to sit up on his own. A standing frame has also been ordered for our use at home and we’re going to build a therapy mat table as well. So, we’re getting settled in to dole out some tough love and also some good cheerleading as we all help get Danny moving, literally.
Corbin is doing great and getting bigger all the time. Believe it or not, he had his nine month check up last week. It’s crazy to think that that much time has already gone by. He is beginning to work on some teeth, so his sleep schedule is off, but he is still the happy baby he’s always been. Danny continues to take more interest in Corbin and wants to spend more time with him. All I know is that when I look into that sweet, smiling, chubby little face, it makes life worth it.
I’m also happy to report that our dog Bailey has found a new home. Craig and Lisa had been graciously keeping her for us on a temporary basis yet; I came to the realization that Bailey needed to find a new permanent family. To the Watkins family, thank you for adopting our first “child.” I hope you enjoy her as much as we did.
Lastly, I’d like to take a moment and give some major kudos to those that help me take care of my family. For those of you that don’t know, we three live with Danny’s parents. They have been there since the very beginning taking care of us in more ways than just putting a roof over our heads. I do not do this alone and could not without the support of Danny’s family. I know they don’t need me to make a public announcement of gratitude, that they do what they do because they love us, but at the same time, their commitment to taking care of our family has never wavered. For their sacrifice, I will forever be grateful for what they do for Danny, they do for me and they do for Corbin, the most important people of my life. Loida, my fellow A-team member, I admire your stamina and faithfulness to Danny and his well-being spiritually, emotionally as well as physically. Hector, I see you as the father shielding his family under the shelter of his wings. You’re always willing to help me with whatever I need so I can attend to Danny and Corbin. Kathy, as an adopted family member, you have no obligation to help yet you’ve been consistently available to do whatever needs to be done. There are countless others that are committed to standing by Danny and our family during this time; Judy, Susie, Dina, Wanda, Craig and Lisa, Jason and Allyson, Kevin and Kristi, Alfredo and Mariella. My list could go on with all of you who I know can be called upon in a moments notice to help and knowing we have that support is priceless. Thank you!
Until next time….sooner rather than later!
Allison “pressing on” Diaz
