It’s one of those days.
It feels like I can’t do anything right for anyone. Oops! Am I a people pleaser? I don’t think so.
However, with so much on my plate and so many hats to wear, it doesn’t feel like I’m wearing any of them well today.
Corbin woke up in a mood. Nothing was right and he complained about it all.
I don’t like buttons on my shirt.
Blue is not my favorite color.
I don’t know how to brush my teeth.
These shoes are too tight.
This coat is too tight on my arms.
My right ear isn’t covered.
This coat is too big for my seat.
I don’t like Superheros.
It didn’t end and I found myself very frustrated especially in light of losing my job.
A couple weeks ago, I was driving and talking to my mom on my cell phone (don’t judge me) on my way to pick up Corbin from a play date. As I progressed through the intersection, I noticed a man stood on the sidewalk. He was dressed in jeans and had tucked in his t-shirt. His hair was combed and he held a sign.
It was what was written on the sign and what was written on his face that stopped me in mid-sentence.
“Will do any work for food. Have a big family.” read the sign.
But, his face conveyed more. He was completely humbled. Desperate. Willing to do anything, even stand on the corner with a sign, to feed his family.
I got choked up. Honestly, I have a hard time knowing who is really in need and who is faking it. But, inside my heart, I knew he was for real.
Not only did this man give me an insight as to what Danny must feel as a husband and father, but what our heavenly Father did/does for us.
So, when Corbin complains and I get so frustrated because I know how blessed he is, I wonder if that is how God hears us too.
And, I’m humbled and desperate.
Humbled, knowing that I am so blessed, no matter the circumstances.
Desperate to listen to Him and to stay in His plan.
Knowing the Father does not give us a free pass or a Get Out of Jail Free card.
But, in the end, I know beyond doubt, that “all things work together for the good of those who are in Christ Jesus.”
I’m scared. I’m tired of not knowing the where the end is or answers to the many questions. I’m tired of feeling totally responsible for all of it.
And, I could go on, but my faith gets me through.
It’s a hard day, but I’ve survived harder days by His grace.
It’s an uncertain time, but we’ve survived worse uncertainty by His mercy.
It’s a lonely day, but I’m safe and not alone through His Love.
I feel hopeless, but know in my mind, that there is always hope.
I’m confused, but know that He is not the author of it, but is every Answer.
I’m in the dark, but He brings the Light.
And, at the end of this day, I’ll be okay. We have a roof over our heads, food in our bellies, warm beds to sleep in, and each other.
Tomorrow, I’ll get up again.