It’s the 10th. I should have already written something, but nope. I’m just now doing it at 3:32pm.
Chalk it up to feeling like I’m repeating myself each month, being the Debbie-downer or good old fashioned procrastination. Whatever. I’ve been quiet cause there’s just too much; too much to even attempt to articulate to ask you to pray about.
The truth is that Satan is an ass.
The caregiver quit. My car seems to have as well. The stealing and the secrecy. The hustle and the holidays. The flu and the funk. The medical surprises and the missing money. The dizziness and the disrespect. The planning and the pulling. The camping trip with Corbin I had to cancel.
It all has some great purpose right? There is meaning somewhere in it? Some grand masterpiece God is weaving?
True, but it still feels like crap right now.
So, today I put on my pink shoes and wore my polka dot top. I’m sassy in my britches and giving the middle finger to Satan and his evil companion Brain Injury.
In the spirit of middle fingers, I’m going to share some great things happening in our lives in spite of it all. Then, I’ll close with some things we’re still on our knees praying and asking for God to move in those areas.
Church
Our new church rocks. They’ve surrounded us and loved on us and broken bread with us. Pastor has come to our home and into our crazy. It’s all a bit scary to actually let people in and see your needs; those things we don’t write about or put in the fundraising video. They hear us at our worst and still love us; what a concept of the Gospel that while we did not deserve it, they have loved and shown grace anyway.
Through Cumberland Community Church, we started attending a small group with others who have not had easy roads to hoe either. These folks too, have come into our lives and actually been the hands and feet of Jesus. And, it’s all wheelchair accessible and they aren’t put off if Danny’s peeing in a urinal in the corner. Win-win.
I also started going to counseling through CCC in October. I get to spew the insanity of it all for about an hour without judgment and then I walk out ready to go another round. Ironically, each time I go, there is yet another fun topic to unload. See list above.
Caregiver
Perhaps you think finding a caregiver for Danny to be an easy feat; a simple person with experience or merely a willing body who needs a job. No so fast, my dear friends. You must be new here; go back to the About Us page and start from the beginning.
Danny is my husband and yet, taking care of him and the wake of his injury is tough for me. There are days I want to quit. It’s like riding on a rollercoaster; it’s exciting and a bit scary the first time, but then when the lap bar doesn’t raise up and you’re stuck on crazy train, it becomes the thing that makes you sick to your stomach; the proverbial thorn in your side.
But I’m happy and grateful to say that we have found a new caregiver! We’re going easy on him and giving him the slow roll on the crazy train, but I’m encouraged and hopeful that this young man might actually be the one God is using for this new season.
Corbin
We are so grateful for Corbin. He is honestly a gift from God to us. I know all children are a gift, but the Eternal knew we would need his belly laugh, his energy and even the challenges that come from being his parents. God knew we would need something prominent outside of ourselves in our lives to remind us of His great love.
Corbin is certainly not immune from the stress that comes along with this life and he is very observant to the stress it causes us as a couple and as individuals. I pray there is a part of him that will understand that though we are his parents, we are humans; full of mistakes and errors in judgment yet saved by the grace of God.
We must be doing something right. God speaks through my kid and brings me back to Truth.
Community
The funny thing about desiring Community with others is that it requires you to ask for it. We opened ourselves and our story. I asked for help and amazingly people responded.
Friends brought meals for two weeks following Corbin’s surgery in November and new friends are bringing Corbin home from school for me. Girlfriends steal me away for dinner and man friends have come to have lunch and fellowship with Danny.
It’s amazing what can happen when you tell people what you need. It’s vulnerable and scary, but it’s awesome to see the blessing of God through people.
Don’t isolate yourselves, friends. Bring people into your mess. Put them on the ride of your crazy train. Ask for more water buffaloes in the fight of your life.
When we’re too weak to fight, we need the herd, the community to fight for us.
Please join us in prayer today for:
- Danny’s complete restoration
- The new caregiver and the relationship between he and Danny
- My car to be fixed and stay that way
- Financial provision
- A buyer for Danny’s motorcycle
- Wisdom for the big stuff; housing, cars, school, jobs, therapy
- Protection for our family, for Corbin
Are you #inon10 today?
